A New Direction

These past few weeks... Or is it months now? However long it has been, Dumah has been less prominent in my life. Of course it doesn't last. I am an idiot to have held on to any hope of It actually staying away.

Around 4 PM... I refuse to say what timezone... I felt this... Shivering force. I turned around and found It about a foot away from me, with It's tendrils out. Been a while since I have seen them. Been even longer since I felt them...

The reminder was extremely unpleasant. It choked me... I am hoping to find something useful from the experience, but all I remember is the cold of It's touch. And then waking up in the middle of nowhere. In the woods, naturally.

Of course Roland was only somewhat concerned, as he seemed to think I was kidnapped again. But that idiot's opinion isn't important. Analyzing the situation is. Or perhaps, could be, as I suspect it is a pointless endeavor.

My theory of it's pointlessness is backed up by yet another inconsistency. It appeared and It attacked. No standing, no waiting... No electronic interference.  Why? Who knows.

What is interesting is the fact It didn't kill me. Morningstar's threat two posts ago comes to mind. Perhaps I am in no danger of being killed at all. They just want me to suffer? Perhaps I can use that? Or perhaps they simply want me to do something exceedingly reckless, and laugh as I die horribly. As always, I will err on the side of caution.

That said, we have a new strategy to put into play. I cannot say more, as I would prefer Morningstar and Fracture and... Anyone else reading this not know.

Now... I think I should mention my current medical issue. I at first believed I suffered a mini-stroke of sorts, as Roland's description of me, following his awakening, seems to fit the bill. I also clearly had a seizure prior. Now I am suffering from... Amnesia of a sort. Not entirely unexpected given the cliches involved with those running from It and It's ilk. The Memory loss is rather specific though. Everything my last post mentioned is gone. I have no idea what I was talking about, aside from what I could infer from the ramblings...

As I see no harm in asking... Care to shed some light on my situation Morningstar? You seem to be more heavily involved than I thought originally, so... Care to be helpful?

...

Looking over this post, I am a bit... Confused. I was attacked by Dumah today. Earlier, yes, but that has happened before and my responses tended to be more... Distressed and confused. Now this could just be me getting jaded about the whole thing, but I'm not sure that's how this works. I can overlook nothing and can assume nothing. So why am I so blase about this? Or... Maybe I am just paranoid.

Goddammit I hate this...

Awake

Okay. Well I... I really don't know where ta start. It's Roland again, if you can't tell. Beena long while, I know. I ain't sure what to really say. Last thing I knew, I was in my cell. Then I woke up in some tiny motel in the middle o nowhere. Looked over and saw Echo looking like he was havin a seizure or something. I wasn't sure what was happening. Then he just stopped and looked around all confused like for a minute er two. Neither of us knew what day it was, and when he checked... Well. It's been a month.

Echo looked bad. Like he'd been crying his eyes out and just been sitting on the ground. So I checked the blog for him, just in case, and found that weird post. Now, I been trying to make sense of it while Echo's been out of it, and it seems ta me like it was wrote in the wrong order. Best I can figure, Morningstar and a "Yellow Eyed Man" were here in this hotel room and left us some keys. Cannibal bastard's comments lend some... Creedence? Credence? Whatever that word is, to my theory. Also some rambling about an Old Man who got us out of that... Place. Hope he killed Morgan, cause it seems like he did something to Morgan, based on what I can tell.

I met the motel manager to try and get some information and... Well... Ever seen that old Hitchcock movie called Psycho? I think we are checked in to the real life version of the Bates Motel. That manager was a proxy. Bet my life on it. So I went back and told Echo, and he immediately started packing up, and told me that we'd figure out what the hell just happened later. I told him to pack it himself and that I was getting far away from him. And can ya blame me? I got kidnapped by those beaked freaks and then sent into what was probably the hell the bible spoke of. All cause he was willing to walk right into a damn trap. And another thing, he locked me out the account, so I was cut off from asking for help from the people that might know a thing or two. All cause of spite. That ain't right, and believe me, I really wish I could leave his ass behind right now.

Unfortunately, the Hotel Manager and staff knocked on the door and "advised" me help Echo along. Now I ain't a real smart fella, but I know a threat when I hear one. Specially since it was clear they was spying on us.

Least Echo apologized, though he wasn't too clear about it. He thinks he had a stroke or something. But he don't want to be taken to the hospital. Can't say I blame him myself. What's worse, is he keeps telling me that the Tall Fella is close by. Now I ain't seen him myself lately, but the radio's been acting real funny at times, in this new van Cannibal Bastard left us.

So we're driving along, and stopping on occasion to rest, or in this case write a post. I gotta ask. Anybody out there that ain't Fracture or Morningstar got any advice? I got no idea where to go or what's going on now. So any advice or offering of help would be mighty welcome right now.

Return

Three Days. The Entire time... Outside the storm of dust and ash gave way to a black rain. He slept the entire way, but I remained awake. It has been Three Days. Oh God... Since I saw sunlight again, after leaving that hell. Burning liquid. Roland was with me, but he is sleeping. I was awake the entire time... Cold but burning. The Old Man came to my cell, and the walls ran black and wet.

He held out his hand, and I took it. He called himself an Attendant of God. There was no other choice. Morgan arrived, but the Old Man subdued him. The Old Man smiled a kindly smile. Beneath the surface of the Old Man's skin, was black fog. Told me that he could get me out. Those gray eyes felt understanding and... Human.   He told me to sleep. The Alarm was raised. The Storm filled with crimson droplets amid the sea of black. I didn't.

Opaque glass that had been cracked, revealing holes in the outside. It was so Quiet. There was a violet light, pulsing slowly with purpose. When I opened my eyes, I saw Nothing. The words had meanings that I did not know. My mind felt like... I could tell which were speaking! And the Outside was beyond my comprehension. Their words though... An End to Everything. There was a yellow light, struggling and writhing. No light, no sound, no meanings. I had to look away. They seemed to have voices... Yes I could! It was not three dimensional, maybe not even dimensional at all. Finally there was a grayish light, larger than the others. Yes. It was so vast, yet so empty. I looked above and found darkness, with many writhing lights dancing above. It was without sense. That I could not know.

But I remained awake. But they were not all. Those dancing lights... Floating in the emptiness. I watched for so long... Roland was with me. It felt like eternity. Floating in the emptiness. Occasionally more would come, of many shades of colors. Above them. Sleeping. Above the lights I saw Them. A deep dreamless sleep. I saw It.

I saw It's true face. The Faces of God.

Nothing made sense. I watched until I felt the gray light envelop me. I was tired. He placed a set of keys on the coffee table. I spent a month there. Nothing will ever be right again. Space twisted. There I lay, beside Roland, until I saw the sun rise and set two times. Dumah was there, watching. I felt the air die as I was gently placed upon a hotel bed. I checked the date. I was thirsty and hungry. Morningstar was there, with a Yellow Eyed Man. May 21, 2013. I slept until the sun had set once again. I could not understand it. Waiting for me to recover, so the game would begin again. The Yellow Eyed Man said something to him. Then I rose and looked outside. I could not close my eyes. It had been nearly a month. Nothing was right. I spent a month with Them.

Help Me Help Me Help Me Help Help Help Help Help

I will forget. Ignorance. I must forget. I must cut the memory out of me. I must not know. I must never know. I must never know. I must never know. I must never remember. Ignorance is happiness. I must not know. Knowledge is madness. Knowledge is sorrow. A sweet bliss.