The Oathbreakers are now looking for something... This is not worrying me. What does worry me are the pains they are taking with me. I was expecting to be forcibly inducted into their cult by now. Or given some sort of ultimatum. Or simply wake up in one of those padded cells. Just... Something.
It is amusing in a way. I keep checking the food they give me... Rather generous amounts given my guest status. I wake up every morning and check every inch of myself, in case I was injected with something in the night. But there never is anything suspicious. Nothing unusual... Everything is Normal.
Which, obviously, is itself unusual.
The Oathbreakers themselves are ever chipper towards me. It is becoming unnerving. I have seen how they act towards each other, and it is very different from the attitude they display towards me. They seem to act arrogantly and ill tempered with one another. But with me it is all smiles and handshakes.
There is obviously something going on here beyond what they are telling me. I am not stupid, but neither are they. If I have begun to notice something is off about this, they have likely noticed I have noticed. So if I were them, I would try to speed along whatever it is they are planning. Otherwise, I would become a danger. Right?
I don't know anymore.
Having trouble looking at myself in the mirror. Mind is barely analyzing all that is going on. I just want to sleep.
Watched one of their side experiments the other day. Some kind of virus. The woman's flesh was rotting... It wasn't painful I think. She seemed more horrified at the sight than the feel. I wonder if the pain would have made it better. Pain numbs the brain... With so much pain it can't process correctly. But this? That women knew what was happening to her. She knew every detail and she watched herself... Her skin falling off.
Being skinned alive. How familiar?
Maybe this is worse in a way... Magog is so impersonal with these experiments. "Can you feel anything?" "Does this hurt?" "What if we apply this? Do you feel this?." He isn't talking to a human being in his mind... Just a labrat. Maybe not even that. Morningstar was so... Personal. Maybe that made it easier...
Even if it didn't. The pain could drown his voice out. He probably knew that and just kept on for his own amusement. Magog and this woman... The woman answered every time. There was no drowning out that voice. A voice no doctor should use... So dispassionate. But she answered, and she was terrified. She was in mental anguish even if she was not physically hurting.
Of course I just watched. It was different but... I just kept seeing Morningstar and that Man. But I wasn't restrained this time. I could have stopped it? At least for a bit. But I am not going to. If I did, I would have been sitting there next just watching my body die. I would have been turned into one of those shambling monsters in the basement. Skin so rotten and diseased it sloughs off if they move too abruptly.
I was curious. I wanted to see one... They showed it to me. I don't know if it was male or female, but no body should be...
It... Shouldn't have been alive. But it was. We had to wear hazard suits just to be near it. The "Keepers of the Castle" one Oathbreaker called it. That wheezing and coughing...
The longer I survive this... This Hell. This is Hell. The longer I survive this, the more fucking inhuman shit I see. Maybe I should get out and just LET Dumah take me. Maybe I should just take this goddamn gun and END IT. I don't fucking want to see anymore of this MONSTEROUS fucking SHIT.